SPAIN...Here I come!~

  First of all...sumpah dah lame x tulis entry. Since I been taking this A level exam, my result aren't doing so well...and i been so afraid of what i might end up with. So, to create more time for my study and also my pleasure time..(means, sleeping, eating and drinking, watching dramas, stalking my fb friends)..I decided to cut down my time on typing words on my blog, which is no one is reading it, except for my dear little sister and beloved parents who like to observe my way of thinking and living through this blog.

  To those guys from my prespain class, this blog was never meant to be read by you, but if you find it intimidating or funny or it is good to make jokes of me...fine, read it. But you may not say anything of it. This is why I made my blog private sometimes. I like to express my thought on writing as I can't do so well when I am talking. It is my way of healing myself from any sensitive issues I got and also how I would like to practice my writing skills. Feel free to comment on my skill, but not my thought. 

  Anyway, after cutting most of my time on writing...i began to achieve more on my class and study. Thanks to Allah s.w.t of course. Why do I always turn back to Him whenever I am in my darkest hours. This is something I really want to work on. I hate to be so arrogant and ungrateful person, but most of my friends think I am, well not most...but I am sure there's one or two person does think of me like that. Well, believe me...I'm not perfect just like you and I really appreciate people who could come clean with me if there's something they unsatisfied with me.

  I am so happy when I found out that most of my classmates made it reach the passing points for futher study in Spain. Although it still hard for me to accept the reality of me, myself, to study aboard. It always been a dream to me, but now is more like a challenge. Either i could make it and make a success of it, or I might find myself in my worst nightmare ever. (please Allah, let it not be that bad)

  So all the documents that Mara have provided has been settle, what's more? PRE-DEPATURE!!. This is the most exciting part being a scholar, at least for me. Can't wait to make my shopping and packing begs. I still worried with my spanish skill as i haven't use it for almost a year..haha. Plus, my knowledge on Islam the way of living in foreign country is way out of date. I have to do more research from now on. This is all I got to write since my previous entry, Happy Merdeka Day everyone. I am absolutely not going to waste the fight that our ancestors have stand for us. I sure will make the most of this merdeka state and help the youngster to build a better country of Malaysia.!

study for exam.....can i do it?

gosh....it's been almost 3 months i haven't touch my so call blog...is not that i don't have any stories to write...i just that i been messing with my mind lately trying to figure out what actually happening in my life. things are really turn 180 degrees for me after i leaved high school. the outside world just make me be someone i'm never been...or it just time that do change people...we just don't realize it...or don't want to admit it. anyway...right now i'm absolutely nervous since i'm going to resit my AS paper and adding more 3 of my A2papers... shit, that just too much. hate repeating papers....i'll try harder this time. i'm also scared because at the end of this year i'm going for vacation with my family for almost a week...and i definitely not going to spend more time for study...so..there goes my study.

MY LITTLE TRIP TO BESUT.

Last weekend, i went to besut with my uncle and auntie. although that weekend was a bit busy, i decided that i'm not going to let my chances go away. my untie invited me to join her side of family gathering for hari raya. the plan was on Friday we drive to besut, get a home-stay house, Saturday, go to the beach, breakfast, shopping at the supermarket, at the night, having BBQ. Sunday went back to Kulim.

i never used the highway of the East-west of Malaysia. i was completely amazed by the beauty of nature. there is even once, we crossed the lake of banding. on my god ...it was big until i felt a little goosebumps. i wander why i didn't felt it when i was crossing the bridge of pulau pinang? never mind, but the road is always turn right, turn left, and when you going up to the mountain or going down, you will feel the air pressure on your ears. cause i felt it a lot.

when we arrived at besut, my auntie brought me to meet her family and i recognized them one by one. they were very much friendly. although they are village people, they never look me on the other way. there were so many small children. i asked my auntie's sister how many child she had, she answer me 8. my jaw drop opened. so i asked on a girl beside me, which was holding a small boy. "is this your little brother?" she answer me.."no, this is my son.." . my auntie's sister just now is her mother-in-law. my jaw dropped even bigger.

i guess village people get marry early. even one of my auntie's sister had 13 children. right now, i felt even scarier to have a family of my own. how can people be so sure of what they are doing in their life. i means there are so many possibility and wonders.

so we finally arrived at our little homestay...or should i say big. because it was a big semidi house which full of furniture already. i got my own room with a king size bed, a mirror table, a closet and that's all. the kitchen were big. i guess that why they choose this house. the first night was smooth, i helped my untie prepare for dinner and had a small chat with my uncle and other new people i just met, did some study for my math quiz and then i went to sleep.

the next day, my auntie, two of her niece, and me went to the bukit keluang beach. it was a beautiful morning since the sun does not shine hardly. we had our breakfast there and took some pictures. luckily, the two niece, zana and su did brought a canon's camera which is great for our little shooting slot. then, my auntie and i went to the small market to buy some ingredient for our cook. my untie cooked mee jawa for the whole family and it was delicious. even i felt tired helping her, i sense a new me inside of myself.

that night, everyone were enjoying themselves, eating, laughing, talking, playing things, i was sitting alone looking at them. is not that i don't want to join them having fun or they were pushing me aside. it just that, suddenly i miss my mother so much, actually i miss my whole family, but mostly my parents. after seeing other people's life, i started to realize how scary your life can be. one day, your parents will die and you have to learn to live alone. is naturally comes to me when i get scared i miss my parents. because the most safely place i can think of is beside them. and seeing other people with thier own family, make me drop a few of my tears. i wish my parents know how much they means to me.

however, i got to hold my grip back after a while.the BBQ was done by the boys and my auntie keeps saving some for me. i was a bit touched by that. even i got to taste it first before the boys. haha. they didn't mind because they got to eat more. there were football live match, so they took turn on grilling the meats.

in the ends, everyone have a good time with their family. around 11 o'clock, people started to go back home. i helped my auntie do some cleaning until 12 o'clock. then back to my room, did some study and go to bed.

the next day, we started our journey back to kulim around 1 o'clock. we say a few goodbyes to the fellow relative and headed to the road where i was back a gain to amazed by those beautiful nature of Allah's creation.

AS Exam result...why it is so tough??

things are really getting too massy with all the side jobs i got from being the vice president of this whole prespain activity...thank Allah, some of the jobs were given to the other who i thought can handle it wisely. but still, i have to work twice than anyone else, since my recent marks from AS exam wasn't that really good. after having short talk with my beloved baba...he seems to approve my thought of getting 4 papers repeated. it just that now i'm considering what madam hayati had told me. she advice me to only repeat two or three papers...but that was only enough for me to get B on those papers..a low B. it just too risky for me...

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11 point...

i don't really know how to express my thought when i first saw my result slip. the full mark for as exam is 15 point but i only get 11. 3 of my classmate got 13 points, 4 persons got 12 point. i wander why i can't do the same...

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result...

Right now..i'm waiting for my name to be called. One by one student are being call to show them their result. The thing is, you don't have to hide it because it shows on your face a lot. I am really afraid i could not bear it. Please tell me the thing that i really want to hear.

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CARA NAK BUANG VIRUS DI BULAN PUASA> perhaps it can be done everyday actually

Enter the masjid
‘Forward’ --> your solat
‘Download’ --> pahala

......‘Firewall’ --> your iman

‘Backspace’ --> from syaitan
‘Bookmark’ --> to Allah SWT
‘Delete’ --> Allah’s enemies,
‘Copy paste’ --> from the Al-Qur’an and Sunnah
‘Help’ --> your muslim brothers n sisters
‘File’ --> your amal
‘Edit’ --> your akhlaq
‘View’ --> your good and bad deeds
‘Search’ --> the straight and right path
■ And Insya-Allah you will never get ‘virus ♥