sickness..

last week..went back home to see my father before he fly back to Frances..but on my way back to my college...my friend brought me a sandwich, from the small stall at the bus station...okey..straight to the point..the sandwich were poisonous...and my friend and i end up having food poisoning the next day..on monday..i was still holding my grip...so i went for my physics class that morning...but i was wrong...i can only stand on a half hour in the class and i went out to the toilet...my stomach, my head, my chest ..were killing me...i almost slept on the toilet...until my friends come and told that class almost end...after the class my sick friend and i went to the clinic with a help of my other friend...it was confirm that i have food poisoning this time..and i was given 2 days off...but the thing is...i was sick for the hold week..on thursday..i had to go to hospital to get some treatment because i can't eat anything....everything i eat..will be through out back...by me vomiting..but i still go for class on friday...at the very end second of the class...which i slept most of the time...suddenly, all my sickness seems to disappear...weird..one thing about this sickness that i hate...it seems like don't want me to go for class the whole week..but i do learn a lot from this sickness though,...most of it is how i should be grateful of what i already had during i am healthy... i also learn that people can be very mean and also kind at the same time...but thanks to this sickness too...my relationship with people around me are building stronger...and i also made new relationship...:)

pre-trial mood...

is only left one day before my AS trial exam week. frankly speaking...i do not set any target for this trial...because i know i'm not ready for it. so far...is not that i don't care about my study or result, seriously...i am aiming for a straight A this time...i know i can do it..but just not in this trial..i'm so not prepare. so far i think my chemistry need more memorizing...especially the paper are only an hour and 15 minutes...even if you are given book to cheek the answers...you will need more than that...the time are too short. but i think chemistry paper 1 would be where i should score more. so i'm counting for that. hopefully i could make it like kak fiq who got full mark for her chemistry paper 1. chemistry paper 2....i really need more time for you.

even though my physic paper 1 last semester was great..i know it wasn't based on my lecture's comment. but i'm really counting on physic than chemistry because my brain just accept physic better than chemistry...haha..what an accuse.. and i am in love with physic since SPM.

i know people expect to get A in math...but last semester i made a big mistake...i take math exam for granted...and take this...i failed my mechanics paper...after that..i learned my lesson. thank Allah, He made me realize that success is not something to be expected...it is something you must work your hard to earn it...so, i will strive my best...for parents and especially myself to get straight in AS...just not in this trial.

15 march 2011

With full of gratefulness towords all the things that have been given to me...I'm very thankful to Allah for my life have been a great lesson this past 19 years and I hope that I didn't waste any part of my life.

Birthday was a very speacial day for me. But now, it seem to change it meanings to me. Usually my birthday would fall on the school holiday. So fortunately that I always get to spent it with my family or my friends. Since now I'm no longer in school...it was no holiday during my birthday.Of course, I'm in college now.

Anyway, I'm still lucky because my dad is coming back home today...he will arrive in malaysia tomorrow. So my whole family will came to my place to spent the school holiday. I just wish I could treasure every moment I have with them.

At very sharp second on the first hours of my birthday...the girls in my dorm sang me a happy birthday song. Even though there were only 4 of them...and 2 were actually singing...I still felt happy. At least someone is happy for me.

Since maxis are giving reward on everyone birthday....I called anyone I could...especially those who I never heard from them in a really long time...nice to finally speak to them...is not that you wish for their wishes...but just to ask how their life have been doing.

By the way, the boys of my class also sang me a song. It was during the first hour of class...Madam Hayati noticed my birthday from the Facebook I guessed. haha...the boy's singing were suck..I was expecting some louder voice or a broken radio but it seem like they were shy.I definitely wasn't hoping for any angle voice or what...after all, they are not singer.

At the afternoon...just before magrib time...two of my friends, Hijazi and Afif called me to came down the cafe. They told me they need the money for the girls posters. I wasn't sure why can't they use their own money first or just wait until our class that night. But I were suspicious when Afif told me to came down alone.

The next part was a sweet memory for me. It turn out, they both bought me a cake. A chocolate cake...wasn't my favorite but it really touch me. Luckily I didn't cry on that spot. I could loose my manly...hahaha. Anyway..we ate almost most 5/6 of the cake..haha..actually hijazi eat 3/6, afif almost2/6...and I less than 1/6. haha..we couldn't finish the cake so I brought the cake back to my dorm. The girls were shock..but not that shock la.

I thought FB would be clossing on 15 march...but when I went online...there were many HB post on my wall...haha..well that's all I could write about my birthday this year. Hye..it's my last year of being teenager..I just noticed.

13 march..

Today might be nothing to most of people in the world, it just a single day that's keep repeating as the same every year...again, and again. But for me...it reminds me of the things that made me who I am today...until now, it still affect me inside.

The truth is, on this faithfully date...I witnessed a lost of a boy who once was the hope of every adult that someday he will become a very great person who benefit the country, people, religious and most of all...his family.

At a very young age...I didn't really realize how the world system is... all I know is that I have to study and get the good result. but the things is...I'm a late bloomer. Every since I was child, my mind just won't work as fast as anyone else. And there was this boy..who happen to be the boy next door...or should I say the boy in front door?? Because he actually lived in front of my house...not next to it. Anyway, he was my neighbor...brilliant student at my school and we were at the same age since we were born.

My dad always compare me to him which totally not great..because nobody like to be compare with the excellent, genius, competitive, hard worker, and intelligent BOY. And I am a GIRL. Is that unfair...YES. By the way...because I love my parent so so so so so much...I want to be smart as they wish me to be. So this boy, he become my guide lines, my target, my competition to what I am going to be. Everything he did, I will follow with hope that I can do better. And finally, I get an excellent result on my study and my parent were proud of me.

Unfortunately, my good result weren't good enough to take me to a better school so I end up went to a normal secondary school, while the brilliant boy got to enter one of the top school in the country. Now that we are not in the same school...I kind of lost. I don't have my guide lines. Luckily, after I change school, meets with new people, I found others who better that me to be my target. You see, I like the environment where there is people above so that I can after them. But knowing that the boy is always going to do better at the other challenging school...makes me never stop from competing others. For a long time, it have become natural inside of me...even though I didn't always get to reach my target...at least I am striving towards it.

13 march 2006...3pm..two weeks before this day, he was sent to ICU after falling while running for his homeroom during the school sport's day. Laying there in coma. I didn't get to see him because usually only family were allowed to enter. Most of his friends were worried...we pray a lot for him to wake up and be healthy again...run again..study again..and most importantly..smile again. But at this day..he was gone forever. The moment that I saw his house full of crowded people...I knew something bad happen...but I don't have the courage to see it for myself. Until old friends started to call me through phone...and told me what really happen. I didn't believe it at first. Well it's because I don't want to. I cried a lot that day. I don't why. He have a really bright future...and it all gone. For me...I was nobody...and yet still living. This boy, this person who is really a contribution died at a very young age...I felt useless...because I felt the lost from this boy.

After his death, I changed a lot..at least the in my perspective of live. So every year on this day...those things came back to my mind, and I shall never forget to be better in every thing I do.

excursión en Penang~

Last week..I went for a short trip to penang with 3 of my friends - Ainun,Lina, and Wirda. Actually I planned to visit and sleepover at my old friend who staying at Kepala Batas. But something happens and my planned can't be proceed.

That morning, Lina and I already woke up early...Wirda and Ainun...well, they both sleep kind of late the night before...so we got out from our college around 9 o'clock that morning. We got into a taxi and went to the station bus. From there, we took a bus until we arrived at the jetty. The jetty was near the bus station at Butterworth..from there...we ride a ferry for the first time...well actually I ride it once already before with my family.

Seriously..only four of us were standing by the side watching the morning hot view of the water splatting over and the bouts crossing the sea..others were sitting quietly on their chair, even some of them fall to sleep. I guess we were too excited cause we don't usually get the chance to do this kind of stuff frequently.

It took us about half of hour to cross the sea...and at last..we arrived at Penang..hahaha you might thought this is kind of childish but when the ferry arrived at penang...I turn around and look at the land I just left, and I felt like I lost all kind of connection between me and all my problems...it actually kind of nice to be somewhere you not familiar with...than being at places where you always get a heartbreak.

At penang we took the rapid penang to the Gurney Plaza. Although it is a long way with riding the bus...but I like watching things that is new to me...it keeps my mind away from thinking about all those drama that keep happening...being naive is so hard, but also exciting since you learning lots of new things.

The first thing we did when we arrive at the gurney plaza is that we took a few photos at the park next to the plaza. Since the sun shine too hard, Lina and I decided..let's took a photo with our sun glasses on...hehe...is time for photoshoot.!!

Then we walk around to look for a nice shop. I stop at reject shop to buy a cloth. I found this nice black kind of jacket...fortunately it was my size. By the way, the cloth is actually have a playboy tag..cause it's actually a playboy product..haha..I felt like doing something different when wearing the playboy tag.hahaha.

After surveying for hours from music studio to popular bookstore to the fitness first gym (hahaha this one is actually wirda, lina n myself lost while our little window shopping), we performed our prayer then hit the Mcd for lunch. Why we always end up eating mcd no matter how far we travel ...btw, Mcd is 2 second next to my home, and I'm absolutely bored with the food. I wonder how rich is the mcd donald owner??

After lunch..we hang out at the back side of the plaza which facing the sea. Eventhough the sun shine but the hotness didn't really disturbed us because the wind were nice. I took a long hard look on the sea to calmly think of everything that happens and what are the things I should do to survive this trouble. Last but no least, we did some photo shoot again since the view are nice.

Before we headed back to our college, we bought big apple... but when I came back ...I realize those problmes do not gone..it just stay away for a while..plus, it getting worse after I arrived and got the bad news. I guess you can never run from trouble...because it never fade away..it always there waiting for you to face it.

I hope Allah will give me all the support that I would need to face these troubles and all the future tests I would have to go through...

thing's that is wrong...

Have you ever felt that you want to help some one but that person doesn't need your help. Plus, that person happen to be someone who is really close too you and it bugs you to see that person are not happy, or the right words is that not like usual. Normally people like to hang on somebody. People want someone to care about them. But that person don't want your help. Is like he hate the kind of help that he would get. Sometimes it turn that the person who wants to offer the help felt that he was the one that person hate, since that person hate his help. I wonder what is the best way to help this kind of person since I happen to have one friends who is sort of like this. At least that what I though about the friend I just mention. I really wish I could help you but it seem like the wall is to high and the distance is too far. Every time I come near u get far far away.

SPANISH CAMP WAS GREAT..

~before camping~

although i have to came back after the hari raya haji holidays to my collage, i think it was worthed since i get to learn new things and things about myself. this is somethings you will never get it anywhere except when the times come. on 21 dec i came back to my collage and on 22 dec the camp start. we started with a pretest to know how the camp actually benefits the students at the end of the program. great, that's mean there going to be another test.
on the first day, we were split into 6 different group. my group were the most sweetest couple i ever met, izya..cez and ilya, the brain of my class, syamil and the knowledge holder and the steroid of our group, naufal.
kak ilya, cez, syamil, naufal and myself

the camp was conducted 5 days in classroom and 2 days at the camp site at SEDIM. the lectures involved were madam hayati for sure, she is the A level coordinator, mr. teh and miz gloria, mr. keat and mr. edison. mr. liew also joined us at the camp site. i am 100% agreed, abosulutely positive, definitely sure that mr. keat was a better spanish lecturer than miss paloma , mr. edison was great in making the class interesting even it was at the afternoon and we were suppose to be tired and sleepy, mr. teh was a great commentator, he is like giving tazkirah when he is talking except it was in english, and miz gloria have a very good voice projection. anyway, i was told that i have i special voice projection. hehe. miz gloria said my voice was low but it can travel very far. i like that.

the 5 days in class were like an exposure to the juniors but it was like a refreshment for the seniors. because of the short time, the juniors can't really learn what they suppose to gain because we can't grab that knowledge in that short period. in this case, i was really disappointed with myself.

~arriving at the tree top walk~
kak ika,naim,izudin, cez, kak hannah, amin, kak fiq, kak ily, miz gloria,kak yana, madam hayati, kak ilya, edy,jihan, hijazi,ainun,lina,wirda,kelly and myself.


2 days at the camp site was the best camp i ever had. even i had to sleep on the wet tent, my blood been sucked by leeches in three different places in one time and only realize it after i went back home, i think it worth more than that. the first day at the camp site, we went for a walk on the longest tree top walk which its long is more than 900 meters. its high were about 180 meters. my legs won't stop shivering while i am walking. i guess i will never stop being GAYAT every time i am on high place.

~tired of walking~
wirda, lina, myself and kelly

after that, we went for flying fox. great, i just told you how i am afraid of high. but i already done flying fox back at my PLKN. the one they having at the camp site wasn't as extream as the one i already done. so i was enjoyable for me. hehe..i guess i begins to like high. that good right. then, we had our own spare time to get our selves ready for our group performance.

~ready for flying fox~
hijazi,lina,myself,ainun and izudin a.k.a miss kelantan


i loved every second of that night. the performances were hilarious. i can't even open my eyes when i am laughing...hahaha..orait2. i know that even when i am not laughing my eyes still look like it was close right, yeah fine.

~ my group performance~
naufal,myself, syamil and cez


~our lovely tent sweet tent~
myself, wirda, ainun, and lina


that night the boys had to give up their tents to the girls. this is because the girl's tents were soaking wet and not enough place to sleep. but i guess the boys were happy sleeping together on the dry floor even it was wide open. they sang along for like 3 hours and fall asleep. haha. is funny to realize they were sleeping after you heard no SUMBANG sounds anymore. ainun and myself went to sleep quite late that night. we stay up chat with some of the boys who done felt like sleeping. it was nice because i get to know them better. is not like always we get to chat in the middle of the woods and night.

~someone making me a devil's horn~
ainun, myself, izudin and afif


the next day we were having explore race. but before that, we had aerobic together. safuan, jihan and naim were incharge of the section..trust me it was really hilarious. i wish we have aerobic everyday. safuan have really nice hands movement..i failed to follow his movement. haha. my team did great on the explore race...but we still lost to the estrella group. guess that group were lucky with the numbers. my group was great because of the brains of the seniors and syamil.after that we also had river crossing..it was fun. better than the one i had in plkn. of course, here is where those leeched came get me..

in the end, mr. pre-spain and miss pre-spain were announced. naufal got the mr. pre-spain tittle and kak ika got to be miss pre-spain. haha.. did i mention i was nominated for miss pre-spain...i almost laugh to myself..haha..even though i hope for it but i know i wasn't suitable for it. after all the cleaning, we headed back to our collage.

~after camping~

owh, i forgot, the next day we got our first sem result. wahhhhh!!~