13 march..

Today might be nothing to most of people in the world, it just a single day that's keep repeating as the same every year...again, and again. But for me...it reminds me of the things that made me who I am today...until now, it still affect me inside.

The truth is, on this faithfully date...I witnessed a lost of a boy who once was the hope of every adult that someday he will become a very great person who benefit the country, people, religious and most of all...his family.

At a very young age...I didn't really realize how the world system is... all I know is that I have to study and get the good result. but the things is...I'm a late bloomer. Every since I was child, my mind just won't work as fast as anyone else. And there was this boy..who happen to be the boy next door...or should I say the boy in front door?? Because he actually lived in front of my house...not next to it. Anyway, he was my neighbor...brilliant student at my school and we were at the same age since we were born.

My dad always compare me to him which totally not great..because nobody like to be compare with the excellent, genius, competitive, hard worker, and intelligent BOY. And I am a GIRL. Is that unfair...YES. By the way...because I love my parent so so so so so much...I want to be smart as they wish me to be. So this boy, he become my guide lines, my target, my competition to what I am going to be. Everything he did, I will follow with hope that I can do better. And finally, I get an excellent result on my study and my parent were proud of me.

Unfortunately, my good result weren't good enough to take me to a better school so I end up went to a normal secondary school, while the brilliant boy got to enter one of the top school in the country. Now that we are not in the same school...I kind of lost. I don't have my guide lines. Luckily, after I change school, meets with new people, I found others who better that me to be my target. You see, I like the environment where there is people above so that I can after them. But knowing that the boy is always going to do better at the other challenging school...makes me never stop from competing others. For a long time, it have become natural inside of me...even though I didn't always get to reach my target...at least I am striving towards it.

13 march 2006...3pm..two weeks before this day, he was sent to ICU after falling while running for his homeroom during the school sport's day. Laying there in coma. I didn't get to see him because usually only family were allowed to enter. Most of his friends were worried...we pray a lot for him to wake up and be healthy again...run again..study again..and most importantly..smile again. But at this day..he was gone forever. The moment that I saw his house full of crowded people...I knew something bad happen...but I don't have the courage to see it for myself. Until old friends started to call me through phone...and told me what really happen. I didn't believe it at first. Well it's because I don't want to. I cried a lot that day. I don't why. He have a really bright future...and it all gone. For me...I was nobody...and yet still living. This boy, this person who is really a contribution died at a very young age...I felt useless...because I felt the lost from this boy.

After his death, I changed a lot..at least the in my perspective of live. So every year on this day...those things came back to my mind, and I shall never forget to be better in every thing I do.